8.2.99

there is nothing out of the ordinary happening in my life right now that possesses me to say this, but i feel amazing. i am as tired as i could be and i have more than one major life decision to make at this point. but i am so happy with the friends that i have made this summer that i can be thankful for my problems just the same as i worry about them, and i know that i am supported. i can look at tonight's sky and feel like i am seeing the stars for the first time, feel like i have never seen something as awesome as the way space appears dome-like above us in the night sky. just as easily as i could cry at this moment over all the things that make me hurt in this life, i can look up at the sky and have contentment. i could never put into words what this place does for me, but if i decide that there is a god, this is its gift to me. i once thought that i was in love and was wrong. then i wondered what love is. this is it.