11.15.99
sometimes it's so clear. the doubt and the guilt, vanished. but how can i keep
them out? i only want to do what's best. define best... sometimes i feel like my
life here is a bad marriage; like we really do love each other, or at least we
used to, and something has changed. but no one knows what it was. and no one knows
how to fix it; how to make the problem go away. maybe they don't even want to
admit it's there. these days i feel lonely. love, gone from my life. i miss it.
so much. it's being hard on me right now. i have to tell myself to stay away
from a mistake. she said, "so your thoughts are like this every day?"