the media has made a mockery of my emotions
not unlike a celebrity’s humanity splashed graphically
but it isn’t my experience being marketed to the world
it’s a universal experience being marketed to me
i am the rope in a tug of war between fear and commitment
i am the of questioning my own value at every movement
it is not antithetical to experience pain and relief in the same moment
they are unlikely bedfellows but long since friends
i don’t like to think about the past
it’s so muddy it makes me sad
but when we talk all I can see is our connection
it’s a thread with no ends
almost like a circle
i wonder if of should be and
how to face my fear
and whether what I am looking for is a break in the circle or not